Tag Archives: domestic violence

Mother Who Drove Her Children into the Ocean Could Be Your Sister……..

The young mother may have thought she could drown her fears
The young mother may have thought she could drown her fears

Currently being held on $1.2 million bond and charged with three counts of attempted murder, the 32 year old mother, Ebony Wilkerson, who drove her children into the ocean near Daytona Beach, FL on  March 4, 2013,  is suspected of suffering from a mental illness. Now, normally, someone suffering from an illness is hospitalized and treated with medication, etc. and apparently, she had checked herself out of a hospital just before leaving her sister’s home and heading to the beach. Her sister had called 911 to say that she was worried since Ebony had spoken of feeling that there were “demons” in the sister’s home, causing her to leave. 

Police had then stopped her while driving with her children, ages, 10, 9 and 3 and questioned her briefly, but felt that she answered questions appropriately and that she did not meet the criteria necessary to detain her for mental health reasons. It was said that Mrs. Wilkerson was fleeing her husband whom she felt was dangerous to her children.  Reports have stated that Mrs. Wilkerson was pregnant.

Black women who had their partners arrested for domestic violence were 98% more likely to die early from other causes

March 2, 2014
University of Cambridge
Researchers followed up on a landmark domestic violence arrest experiment and found that African-American victims who had partners arrested rather than warned were twice as likely to die young.

University of Cambridge

Mandatory arrest in domestic violence calls is associated with early death in victims

New, and seemingly surprising, research from a major ‘randomised’ arrest experiment 23 years ago finds that domestic violence victims whose partners were arrested on misdemeanor charges – mostly without causing injury – were 64% more likely to have died early, from other causes, compared to victims whose partners were warned but not removed by police.

Among African-American victims, arrest increased early mortality by a staggering 98% – as opposed to white victims, whose mortality was increased from arrest by just 9%. The research also found that employed victims suffered the worst effects of their partners’ arrests. Black women with jobs whose partners were arrested  suffered a death rate over four times higher than those whose partner received a warning at the scene. No such link was found in white victims.

The study’s authors say that causes are currently unknown but such health impacts are consistent with chronic stress that could have been amplified by partner arrest. They call for a “robust review” of US and UK mandatory arrest policies in domestic violence cases.

“It remains to be seen whether democracies can accept these facts as they are, rather than as we might wish them to be,” said Professor Lawrence Sherman from Cambridge University’s Institute of Criminology, who authored the study with his colleague Heather M. Harris from University of Maryland.

The findings were announced in the US on Monday 3rd March in Milwaukee and College Park, Maryland, and presented on Wednesday in London at the winter meeting of the Society of Evidence-Based Policing. Milwaukee Police Chief Edward Flynn, who supported the follow-up study, will join in the presentation and discussion of the results. The study will be published in a forthcoming edition of the Journal of Experimental Criminology.

Suicide in African American Teens and Young Men

It seems to be happening more and more often to people? They get a call about the son of a friend or someone they know who is determined to kill themselves. They nearly panic and try to calm themselves. What should they do next?

Watch this very informative video. You’ll learn so much that will help you help someone.

More on depression and suicide in young black men….

How to reduce “Baby-Mama” drama

Probably one of the most intense of dramas that frequent the therapy office is that of distraught, frustrated folks trying to co-parent. They rely on the court, the visitation schedule, the child support orders to communicate their interpersonal pain.

One can’t understand why the other left the relationship but they can understand how to make visitation difficult. One may have trouble being heard in person but they can make themselves heard through a subpoena. Often they don’t realize they are playing out dramas from their own childhoods – issues they can’t or don’t know to address. This is an instance when employing a therapist to mediate and facilitate more effective communication between estranged partners is a child-saving decision.

As early in the process as possible, begin using these steps to reduce the drama:

1.  Set a good intention in place around your interactions. Be determined to be courteous no matter what.  Remember, your kids are watching you. For example, say something like, “I really appreciate your patience in working on this” or “I want us to come up with a schedule that works for both of us”.
Or, how about a big intention like, “We are not going to let our relationship problems make our kids miserable or constantly worried. If nothing else, we’re going to keep them out of the drama”.

2. Stay calm. Give your co-parent an “out” when the situation gets tense. Try keeping a calm, low voice tone and say, “I can see this is so upsetting for you. Maybe we should think about it a little more and talk in a couple of days”.

3. Acknowledge your co-parent’s strengths and best efforts. “You’ve always been better at scheduling than I. I’m so glad that the baby can always depend on you….” or “You are such a good mother. Johnnie’s clothes are always so well organized. I really appreciate that!”

Now, you might be thinking, “Why should I make him or her look good when he or she has been such a jerk?” Because it makes you look even better. It also gives you some power over the situation, since if you’re kind or appreciative, your ex-partner might calm down and be nicer to you.

Try it! Consider it to be your own personal research into what will make your life easier.  Try different approaches and make note of what works better. Remember, there can’t be an argument if you won’t participate.

For a great resource to help you handle custody & support issues, check out attorney Alicia Crowe’s manual, Real Dads Stand Up