Healthy Ways for a
Stress-Free Holiday Season
By Tonya Ladipo, LSW
The holidays are supposed to be a pleasurable and enjoyable time. A time when people gather to celebrate a day, an occasion or a season, right? Not necessarily. For many people, the holidays cause stress and anxiety. And for you......?
What makes the holidays so stressful?
Some factors that increase stress include: time, money, family, and death and grief.
Time becomes precious as the holidays approach because more needs to be done in addition to daily responsibilities. There are parties and school events to attend, presents to buy, make, and wrap, groceries to shop for, and food to prepare for holiday events.
Suddenly there are more tasks to be completed in the same amount of limited time. And, unfortunately, responsibilities like work, child care, relationships, and bills cannot be ignored simply because of the holidays.
Since some people are currently celebrating holidays and others are preparing to, now is a good time to improve your time management skills.
FINANCES
Finances often become strained during the holidays. People feel the need to get the “right” present or host the perfect party or dinner. As a result, people spend money they do not have. The accrued debt causes distress not only during the holiday season, but for months and even years later.
Before you start shopping and spending money that you do not have, create a budget. Determine how much money you can spend during the holiday season and spend accordingly. To create a budget, make a list of all of your expenses (including coffee, cigarettes, etc.). Then make a list of your income. Subtract your expenses from your income and that is how much money you can spend this holiday season. If you want extra money, look at you expenses list and see what you can reduce (i.e. pack a lunch instead of eating out).
If your resulting holiday budget is not as large as you would like, you may have to buy fewer or less expensive gifts than you did in the past. Be creative and make gifts. Think about making gift certificates that are redeemable for your time (a future sledding date, cuddle time, or cookie making time). Rather than providing the entire meal, ask others to contribute dishes, which will reduce your grocery expense. For more detailed information on how to create a budget look at these resources:
FAMILIES
For many people, their families are a source of support and strength. They interact on a regular basis and enjoy each other’s company. For these families, the holidays are another time to be together and celebrate. It is a time that they look forward to.
Unfortunately, this is not true for everyone. Some people feel stress, anxiety, and even pain when they are with their family. This may be a result of old tensions, alcohol or drug use, different value systems, or abuse or neglect. As a result, holidays with the family are not always pleasant and enjoyable. If this is the case for you, consider the following question:
Do I have to spend the holidays with my family?
Actually, you don’t. As an adult you can decide what is best for you. If spending the holidays with your family will not be enjoyable or healthy for you then you can choose not to go.
Once you remember that you have a choice regarding the holidays, you can choose to do things differently. Maybe spending the holidays with your family has not been enjoyable for you in the past, but you still want to see them. Before the holidays arrive spend some time thinking about what makes interacting with your family difficult. After you have done this you can better prepare for your visit.
DEATH, GRIEF, and LOSS
Death, grief, and loss are other factors that make the holidays difficult. When a loved one dies, everything changes, including holiday celebrations. The sorrow associated with death is immense and the holiday season can intensify these feelings. Other types of losses such as divorce, changes in relationships or losing a job can also cause anxiety and stress during the holiday season. As a result of these losses, the holidays will be different.
In order to deal with death and grief during the holidays, it is important that you bolster your support now. Let others know that the holidays will be difficult for you and you want their support. Be specific about how you want them to support you. Perhaps you want more contact with your family and friends. Maybe you want to celebrate the holidays with them. When people are dealing with death and grief, their friends and family often feel that there is nothing they can do to help. People who love and care about you want to help you, so ask them for their support and assistance.
Next it is important to determine how you want to celebrate the holidays. Do you want to celebrate as you have in the past? Do you want to create a new holiday tradition? Do you want to create a memorial for the person who has died? These are all questions to consider and begin answering before the holidays arrive.
This time of the year creates a highly charged atmosphere that is contagious. It can be fun, energetic, and exciting. But it can also create tension, anxiety, and stress. Rather than allow the stress of the holiday season to overcome you, implement some of these strategies and have a more satisfying holiday season. Have a safe, relaxing, and healthy holiday season!
If you need additional or professional support during this time, consider connecting with a psychotherapist.
For full-length article (includes information about alcohol, food, and depression) log onto www.tonyaladipo.com