Eye to eye, nose to nose, mind to mind!

How couples counseling works

 How Couples Counseling Works

Being in a committed relationship can be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life.  Relationships begin with so much hope, the comfort of belonging, of feeling safe and protected, the excitement of passion and the wish for a lasting bond.   But all relationships go through phases.

Its all in the hormones
At Rutgers University, Helen Fisher has completed years of research which reveals the three different types of hormones that drive those phases. In addition, there are many other factors that determine how you hear your partner and how you respond. It takes time and information to determine what works in your particular relationship. Couples counseling is a way to identify what you each want, need and are willing to give to each other. It’s the therapist’s job to see what you don’t see.

You’ll learn to take a different listening position

Revitalization of a relationship has to come from a place that is within you and perhaps is not available all the time.  With understanding, you and your partner can find that place within yourselves and each other that can hold steady in order to achieve change. It starts from reminding yourselves that you each are both flawed and good people. You each want to strengthen your partner.

You’ll learn to build a framework for the relationship

Counseling provides you with a neutral party to teach you new ways to say things and to encourage understanding.  Couples therapy defines roles, behaviors and traditions that will build and protect your relationship. Learn to express your feelings productively, especially if you find it hard to be vulnerable. Learn how to hear your partner.  Research indicates that habits like withdrawal, sarcasm and criticism are especially destructive to relationships.

You’ll learn to do daily relationship “maintenance”

You can implement daily steps to improve your relationship. It’s hard to remember that being disciplined and patient in using them is the key to creating long term change. But if you do remember to use those steps, like seeds planted, you will see the results growing over time. You’ll learn these skills and more in couples counseling.

And you’ll develop different expectations

Are your expectations reasonable? Do you each feel it’s impossible to meet the other’s expectations? The current cultural myth that you marry so that your spouse can make you happy is a sure foundation for future relationship rot. Strong relationships actually seem to be made up of totally different components.

Are you interested in discovering the deeper, enduring techniques that can strengthen your partnership for a lifetime? Check out a counselor in your area now. 

Learn more about relationship counseling

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