w What Men Want
w Depression, Julia Boyd
w How Are Blacks Killing Themselves?
w The Life Plan
We were joined by six women from New York & D.C. including Harriet Cole, author of Jumping the Broom and How to Be, and Eleni Fuiaxis whose husband wrote Stop Beating Around the Bush, how to tell your man that you're not satisfied with him sexually..
What we learned:
Women need to determine in the first six weeks of the friendship whether the man is looking for marriage, commitment or just a dating relationship and not waste time if they are not seeking the same type of relationship.
That because women are able to entertain themselves with friends, career pursuits, individual activities they may need to examine their specific need of a mate.
That men need to be needed, even though that need not be in the traditional areas of a relationship.
That couples who take the time and risk to define their sexual needs to each other are providing an enduring capacity for intimacy in the relationship.
That each relationship, it's rules and goals are unique to the two people it serves. In this era, creating a surviving marriage means throwing out old or others' notions of what marriage is supposed to be.
Dr. Guillory mentioned the role of sports psychologists:
To enhance performance in individual and team sports
To help coaches develop skills that strengthen players not just in the sport but in other areas of their lives
To help coaches develop positive ways to motivate players
To assist team members in developing problem solving skills
Dr. Guillory is an Oakland, CA provider listed in our Therapist Directory
Define your goals in these easy steps:
1. List the 3 things you want most to do - Focus on one
2. List the barriers to reaching that one goal
3. Identify the solution to reducing that barrier
4. Create a time schedule for the steps needed to reduce that barrier
5. Each day spend 15-30 minutes doing what is necessary to reduce that barrier.
Once it is out of the way:
1. List the steps necessary to reach your goal
2. Create a time schedule for the steps needed to reduce that barrier
3. Each day spend 15-30 minutes doing what is necessary to reach your goal.
Now you're on your way. Keep notes on the dates you complete each step. You'll see how quickly you can move mountains and reach your goals.
This was a wild and wooly session in which we learned from 4 guys that:
Men want:
Emotional support in terms of their wives' faith in their ability to succeed
Fair distribution of financial responsibility
Loyalty & letting them be the final decision makers
Natural beauty
Subtleness in negotiation of differences - None of that "in your face" stuff
No open criticism but instead encouragement & respect
Physician and health educator, Dr. Browne wants us to know this:
Black women 20-35 make up 60% of new HIV cases & are 125 times more likely to get AIDS than white women
(This is thought to be due to the number of black men who are secretly having sexual relationships with gay men.)
Black men die of prostate cancer and black women of breast cancer more than any other group
Blacks are dying from hypertension, cardiac disease and diabetes more than any other group. (Except that Native Americans develop diabetes at greater rates than blacks.)
Nearly all of the diseases which kill us are preventable by increasing our physical exercise, increasing our intake of vegetables and fruits and decreasing our intake of meats, dairy, sweets and alcohol.
Participation in clinical trials can provide information which can help medical providers identify more effective treatments for blacks.
author Julia Boyd
In her book, Can I Get a Witness, therapist, Julia Boyd, defines the symptoms of depression: absence of joy, fatigue, lack of motivation, sadness, feelings of worthlessness, avoidance of people and groups, self-destructive behavior.
She notes that seeking treatment means finding the simple cures offered for depression today vs. wasting away days and months on unnameable hurts.
Whether the causes are biochemical or reactions to loss, injury or trauma, Julia notes that there are solutions. Find her in our Therapist Directory.